Originally Posted by Moridin
River was definitely my favorite.
Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.
River: Played with Kaylee. Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark and chaos has come again. Bits. Fluids. What am I?!
Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I threw up on your bed.
River (To Simon on his birthday): "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable… I didn't get you anything.
River (carrying pages she tore out of Book’s bible) - I'm...I tore these out of your symbol and they turned into paper. But I want to put them back, so...
Book(having a very bad hair day): River? Why don't you come out?
River: No! I can't. Too much hair.
River(in a serious/sympathetic tone): You're afraid we're going to run out of air. That we'll die gasping. But we won't. That's not going to happen.
River(cheerful): We'll freeze to death first.
Mal: "Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed. Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't."
River: "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems."
Mal: "See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."
Mal (takes a gun away from River) Fully loaded, safety off. This here's a recipe for unpleasantness. Does she understand that?
RIVER: She understands. She doesn't comprehend.
MAL: Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction. No touching guns. Okay?
(Kaylee is pinned down by three men with guns. River peaks around the corner and sees them, takes a gun from Kaylee covers her eyes and fires three shots around the corner killing all three of them )
River: No power in the 'verse can stop me.
After stabbing Jayne with a kitchen knife
River: He looks better in red.
Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.
After Jayne tries to sell them out to the feds
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are, you'll be under my knife again. Often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly. No matter what you do, or say, or plot... no matter how you come down on us I will never ever harm you. You're on this table you're safe. I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies and more than enough of both. Now we could circle each other and growl, both sleep with one eye open but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done. I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same, cause I don't see this working any other way.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
